“By the
way, I thought my grandma invented booze but was wrong, rumor has it that
beer is over 10,000 years old. ‘Drunken’
agricultural historians believe that the first beer may have been produced
accidentally when a stash of grain was soaked by rain and then warmed by the
sun. If this mixture were spontaneously fermented by wild, airborne yeast—which
thrives in just these warm, moist conditions—beer would have been produced. - Microsoft
® Encarta ® 2009.
Away
from that, think of Yokozuna., Vuvuzela, Fiesta among others. They remind me of
those days enzi zetu. I was in class
four and the ruling brand then was Medusa.
Those days, it drank wazees’ heads until they went with their
pants a-top of their viparas.
Take a
case of my class four teacher who came to class with magunias (beer satchets). He could not solve simple algebra and his
one and only example remained ½ + ½ = ¼ and according to him it was self-explanatory.
Mr. History Teacher was no different, because under influence, he taught us the
future.
Then came the era of millennium teenagers.
Peer pressure became peer pleasure. The dem
days of Jam Sessions, when one would
hop into a matatu then unacheki makanga akikuitisha fare unadhani
ni beggar anataka uchote …and you would end up being kicked out of a mat and finally found solace in a ditch
till early next morning if by good luck you never crossed a blue maria’s path.
Today,
Booze sessions are literary running away from Ruaraka, to some funny locally produced concoctions that are taking
toll on champs’ eyes. Kenyan drinking
habits are literary drying out. I’m told
that in the 80s, Ruaraka waters were so
precious that they were held high in the society, particularly by anyone who
owned a Volkswagen beetle. What happened? You find Guys nowadays taking
anything a brewer offers simply because he or she refers to it as alcohol.
Finally,
kabla masaa ya mututho ikwishe, I
would like to categorically state that Uncle
Iteere and Papa Saitoti are
really doing all they can to kick away illegal brews but the buck stops with
you and me to drink responsibly, drink what you can handle, Kenya needs your
eyes…to see Vision 2030!
Oops! I
can’t really figure out what I’m trying to say because I’m drunk…Booze
Lecture’s over! ”
From the
chronicles of a Mad Mullah and The Campus Rover © KIJIJIMOJA 2011
